Fat & Sweets Podcast
This show is all about storytelling and RAW content through our unique experiences as we grow our faith. NOTHING is off the table and there may be some Radical/Explicit content, but it's necessary because ya'll don't listen anyways. Culture, Society, Music, Parenting, Relationships, Friendship, Faith, and pure comedy! If you aren't scared, or easily offended, then maybe you should stick around. If you are, there is another podcast for you that's NOT ours. We love you still. Don't let the door hit you where the good Lord split you. :)
Fat & Sweets Podcast
Ep.16 Where would we be without our Moms: A Mother's Day Tribute
What makes a mother's intuition so powerful? How does it differ from general women's intuition? According to our heartfelt exploration this week, mother's intuition approaches 99.9% accuracy—comparable to hospital-grade disinfectant in its reliability.
Our conversation delves into the profound paradox of motherhood: simultaneously being life's greatest accomplishment and its most challenging endeavor. We share personal stories about our own mothers' sacrifices and supernatural abilities to sense when we needed them most, regardless of physical distance. These connections transcend explanation but represent the core of what makes the mother-child bond so sacred.
The episode takes an unflinching look at America's treatment of mothers compared to other developed nations. With childbirth costing thousands of dollars in our region and maternity leave limited to 6-8 weeks (while other countries offer 6+ months), we question a system seemingly designed for mothers to fail. Single mothers face even greater challenges navigating these obstacles alone while raising children with limited support networks.
Perhaps most poignantly, we discuss how modern motherhood often lacks the community infrastructure previous generations relied upon. Gone are the days when grandparents routinely took grandchildren for summers or trusted neighbors provided childcare. Today's mothers frequently find themselves isolated in their "newborn bubble," creating support networks among peers rather than extended family.
For those blessed to still have their mothers, cherish every moment and never take those calls for granted. And if you know someone who's lost their mother, extend extra compassion their way. The motherhood journey deserves celebration far beyond a single day on the calendar.
Email us for our Socials: kingandqueen2025@fatandsweets.org
Yeah, y'all know it's fat and sweets. We trying something different? Huh, I can take my mama's place, spend it from school, scared to go home. I was a fool, with the big boys breaking all the rules. I said cheers with my baby sister Over the years we was bored and other little kids and even though we had different daddies, the same drama. When things went wrong, we blamed mama. I reminisce on the stress I caused. It was hell hugging on my mama from a jail cell Y'all. Hey, bro, bro, what is this? Is this episode 15 or 16?
Speaker 1:oh I'm gonna say it's 16.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that sounds about right. That sounds about right. That sounds about right. All right, we gonna go with episode 16.
Speaker 1:Well, look, it's fat and sweets. We back again. This is is Fat Daddy.
Speaker 2:And this is, sweets, the goddess the one and only you, weak.
Speaker 1:I like the way you said that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you like that.
Speaker 1:That was tough, thank you. Thank you, I appreciate it. This is a momentous occasion. Yes a special, if you will. Yeah right, this is impromptu. We wanted to give y'all something before the weekend gets chaotic and busy and hectic, but for good reason you know this is the mother's tribute episode.
Speaker 1:We ain't gonna call it um mother's day because you know I was sharing with sweets earlier that I think the societal title of that day is just one day where you celebrate your mom and I think you should celebrate your mom as much as you can, as much as you realize that you appreciate your mom, which is why we started out with that, and if you don't know that song, you can't sit with don't know that song.
Speaker 2:You can't sit with us.
Speaker 1:Shame on you, and yeah you can't sit with us.
Speaker 2:Shame on you.
Speaker 1:Man, so let's go. How do you feel about, first off, just being a mom?
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker 1:Well, you're just hopping right into it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, let's get right into it. Well, first of all, being a mom is probably my life's greatest accomplishment.
Speaker 1:I like that.
Speaker 2:And I knew, since I was a little girl, that I always wanted to be a mom, like I knew that was something that I was always destined to do, and I had my mind made up that. You know, regardless of what happens in this life, that you know I want to make my own little people, you know. But, but, it's a blessing, don't get me wrong, it's hard, it's. It's hard. It's also the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, but still the most rewarding nonetheless oh, look who it is it's just some nigga man, it's uncle d it's.
Speaker 2:Uncle.
Speaker 1:D yeah, and you got the Ronas, bro, we see you. My brother, Uncle D, just walked in and boy, he's something to be appreciative of Shout out to Uncle D.
Speaker 2:Uncle D for the win.
Speaker 1:But yeah, I wanted to know what you thought about being a mom, because I'm going gonna shine a little light on you for a sec.
Speaker 1:I know I don't really do that typically, but from what I've seen you are, you are a phenomenal mom oh thank you to your boy thank you and you know, in the song tupac talks about it, bro, it's not easy raising a man, it's not easy raising a boy to become a man with a little to no help, little to no resources, no real help. You know help is needed. You need a village and you know, I'm sure you have one, but it could be a little bit larger in quantity or in quality sometimes but somehow you've done it so far for five years. Thank you, thank you, I appreciate that For five years I you, thank you, I appreciate that.
Speaker 1:For five years. I think you do well with your boy right there.
Speaker 2:I appreciate that for you recognizing that, because I feel like a lot of times we as mom, we have that mom guilt that we're not doing enough or that we're not, I don't know, that we're just not being a good mom, even though we're probably busting our ass, but we feel like we fall short in some ways. But yeah, it's definitely been hard and, like you said, a woman can't teach a boy how to be a man. So being a single mom to a little boy, that's definitely something I've battled with in me. Raising him, I could do the best I can to try to teach him to be the young man I would like him to be, but there's, there's just a lot of things that I can't teach him for the simple fact that I'm not a man I think that's like a uh, a technicality, because for the most part, if I could put a percentage on it, I think you could do probably 75 of the job.
Speaker 1:It's the other 25% the care for what we have, that you don't have. There's just certain things. You may know how to instruct him, but you can't really connect with him because he's going to be like well, how do you know?
Speaker 2:Certain things I can't relate to.
Speaker 1:Yeah, or that there's other father mentors out there you can find. I found my own.
Speaker 2:No, for sure.
Speaker 1:For the folks that either have a dad and you're not in contact with them, or you lost a father, or whatever the case may be, look out for other mentors. It's definitely necessary because mom deuce can't do it all, but she can get damn near close and she, then she's gonna try, yeah, she's gonna try, as hard as she can you.
Speaker 1:They carried you, for some of you were premature, you know some they carried you full term but they carried you. You know you put them through all types of sickness and nausea and you change their body Some of them you change their shoe size, you change their mind.
Speaker 2:You're preaching right now. Yeah, all that.
Speaker 1:I don't need to be a woman to understand what happens. I can observe. I mean, I have my own mama who it's her birthday. Hey, happy birthday to dudes, I ain't going to say the number Happy birthday to dudes.
Speaker 1:This is definitely mother inspired, and we wanted to get this episode out prior to all of the Mother's Day festivities, which I hope y'all are going all out for y'all mamas, because they go all out for you. They've been doing it before you even knew who they were for. So I mean, there's no way we can really quantify or, you know, articulate how we feel about our moms, but there's a lot of people who don't have their mothers anymore or don't have access to their mothers, whether they're in jail or whatever the case may be. If you don't have your mother, I know that this episode may be a little heavy for you, but if you do, please keep in mind the people who don't and don't take it for granted because, boy, you have no idea what moms will do for their children a Averse, averse.
Speaker 2:You spitting, you spitting, fat daddy.
Speaker 1:This is just coming from me being a son.
Speaker 1:Myself, like I will never, ever be able to say that I'm a mother, but I can Speak to what I've experienced With my own. My mom is a gangster bro, and I mean that by like Just how she handles All adversity. Just how she handles all adversity, her work ethic, her, uh, spirituality, her prayers, her um, just I don't know I'm getting emotional about this shit for real, but she's always like poured into me with knowledge and books and always trying to sharpen my mind, or like affirmations or what to what to say to myself. So, man, that's tough. I didn't even expect that to happen, but oh, that's mom dude's.
Speaker 1:Definitely she did a lot. She does a lot that she doesn't even realize, bro, not trying to tell him. She's like how the hell do you remember all this? But I don't know, bro. It just sticks with you. From as early as I can remember, bro she was. She was definitely going crazy. She was busting her ass, working three, four jobs at the time, putting us through private school and paying bills and doing whatever else. I don't know how she did that shit, but you know.
Speaker 2:She had y'all to motivate her.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she did. She got two boys, bro, she did that shit right.
Speaker 2:See, that's a sign of an amazing mom that you know as much as you want to stop, you're not going to, because you know your babies is is waiting for you to make something happen. That's.
Speaker 1:That's a good mama, right there she has even said herself or she would. She would give her last, you know, to close off her back if I needed it, and I think knowing that is enough, like I would never accept, never accept it. You know I'm a man with pride too, but like I cannot wait for the day that I can actually, like, spoil her for real. I feel that she just did a lot. I definitely feel that and I think anybody who has a mom that like, even if y'all don't, I don't know, I feel like parents and children go through this like beefing stage.
Speaker 2:At some point Parents and children go through this beefing stage. At some point it's growth that's inevitable.
Speaker 1:My mom has seen me at my worst, at my lows, at my highs. We didn't argue, we didn't literally scream at each other. For real it never, changes. That's my dukes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Everyone's gone through that and their love for you will never waver. You will always be their baby, even though you probably pissed them off.
Speaker 1:Yeah, bro, I would say. One of my mom's best qualities, though, is her ability to narrate. She would talk about whatever the hell she was doing, and I think that helped with my language development a lot. It didn't matter if she was reading a bill or answering a phone call or reading an email, it doesn't matter, she was explaining to me what was happening, what she was doing, and I think she kind of like pushed me a little bit further academically because of that. Like my reading comprehension was good, my ability to read non-verbal was in communicate, just because she was always looking at me and talking with me. So I think that is the reason why here we are today and I'm podcasting, you know, my ability to communicate and express myself and my emotions and how I'm feeling and what I'm thinking. I definitely came from Mom Dukes, and this ain't to give shade to the fathers. Just, it ain't our season, bro, we got June.
Speaker 2:Yeah, y'all time is coming. Y'all time is coming up mom dukes, she did.
Speaker 1:She did a lot of things that I can't even explain to y'all mother's love.
Speaker 2:Ain't that what they talk about?
Speaker 1:yeah, I think that that's um. I think kids learn what god's love is like through their mother.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I feel that I don't know, I've been rapping. No, I agree. It's because of stuff like that, where I never realized how much hearing the voice of your mom can impact you. Sometimes, if you're going through a hard time, just hearing your mama's voice has a certain I don't know what it is in the frequency of her, what it is about that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, bro, when they ask you, if you good, you're going to feel that shit.
Speaker 2:Not even just or hearing your mom pray for you, or something like that. And for those who don't have their mom or haven't talked to her in a while, my heart goes out to you because I can't imagine not wanting to hear your mom's voice and knowing that that's no longer an option. Yeah, bro I your mom's voice and knowing that that's no longer an option yeah, bro, I can't imagine it.
Speaker 1:Let's let that be known for the folks that do still have their parents. Bro, we live in an era where you can record videos and you can capture photos, and you can get voicemails and you'll forever have them in your voicemail box. You can transcribe them, you can literally capture everything and I, I implore you to document as much as they will allow you to, because you know, some of the boomers and the generations that have passed don't really like being on camera right for real, but like if you could just sneak a photo or record something. Uh, I say, do it, because you never know, life is very, very long and short at the same time and you just you don't know get all you can while you can.
Speaker 2:I feel like another thing that's almost taken for granted, underestimated, is a mama's hug, like you ever just needed a hug for sure that and or how healing it could be, I'd never realized. Well, I ain't gonna say never realized it, but I I didn't realize until like recently. You know, me and my mom had an interaction where I was. I was going through a lot and I just had to ask her, like yo can I get a hug, and she actually sat there and held me and it did a lot.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it does.
Speaker 2:In my grown-ass age, so I feel like that's something that was going on.
Speaker 1:Yeah, bro, it doesn't matter how old you are, your mama's going to be your mom. Yeah, sometimes you just need to hold your mama, give her a hug and a lot of people I don't know like. Think about all the, all the stuff you went through in school, right, why? Why is it that your mama jokes was always the ones that, like, really stung you for real.
Speaker 2:None of it was the ones that started fights. Yeah, bro, what? What'd you say about my mom?
Speaker 1:that's, that was never that's the one where you about to get rose up on yeah, yeah that's mom dukes, whether whether she was in a good position or not, like in her life, that's mom dukes yeah it don't even matter, you don't even. It's something. Even if you don't, you beefing, you don't even care. You could be beefing in real time in something.
Speaker 2:Pop off and it's like that's mom dukes yeah, yep, I think it's instinctual, like because of how hard they go for you and how much they protect you, it seems only right that you reciprocate. So anybody that talk about, talk about your mama or try to throw her in any way like I don't know, I think it's only right.
Speaker 1:That's the reaction and real quick, I ain't gonna stay here long. But anybody who's hating on somebody who loves their mama I ain't talking about the one who is like the, the mama's boy that does everything his mama says. Whenever she says jump, he says how high. I ain't talking about that. I'm talking about just like genuine admiration and respect for the sacrifices that your parents make, but more specifically, your mother makes for you. You can get the fuck on, because that's just not even your lane, and maybe you need to rectify the relationship you got with your mama so you can appreciate what somebody else has going on. Instead of being envious, how about you work on yours?
Speaker 1:that's a good point that's something I'm gonna just say that right there. Some people just don't really understand that. For whatever reason, I get it, I'm gonna give you some grace, but at the same time, keep that shit to yourself, because, man, we wouldn't even. They're literally like a portal to earth. That's how you get here that's true by a woman.
Speaker 2:I will say, though, there are there's deadbeat mamas out there. There's deadbeat mothers. You know, everybody talks about deadbeat fathers, and they get the well, yeah, we all, we all put the spotlight on the deadbeat dads and all that. But there's a lot of deadbeat mamas out here and you know we're. I am not ignorant to that, so I'm just gonna throw that out there. There are probably some people who say, man, my mom wasn't shit and, you know, ain't never did much for me.
Speaker 1:So you know, I I acknowledge that as well yeah, but we talking about the, we're talking about the wholesome spiritual of course, the wholesome spiritual. They're the ones that are getting the you know the praise to tell you to put your seat belt on when you in the car, the ones that tell you to drive safe, the ones that tell you the obvious shit that you already know the ones that call you baby every once in a while.
Speaker 1:The ones that know this one thing, I'm gonna make it personal about my mom her timing is impeccable no, that's just the mom it doesn't matter what is going on, she can just sense, no matter how far geographically I am, whether things are going good, whether things are just mediocre, or whether things are absolutely in turmoil, she will know exactly what to say, what to pray for, what to text. And it hits like holy field every single time, without fail ever. It's just like you look at the message and you're like damn, how you even know that's exactly what I was dealing with.
Speaker 2:A lot of moms are like that. I feel like that's just that mom intuition, when you sense, when you, when your baby's going through something, that's another I feel like mother's sense when your baby's going through something.
Speaker 1:That's another thing. I feel like mother's intuition and women's intuition are two different categories. Absolutely. Mom's intuition is goaded.
Speaker 2:Absolutely.
Speaker 1:Women's intuition is great, but it could be misread sometimes.
Speaker 2:I'm going to say sometimes it's a little tainted, it could be misleading it could be emotionally driven. Mother's intuition is almost 99% every time that mom instinct, that it's like hand sanitizer 99.9, guaranteed to kill whatever metaphorical bacteria is going on.
Speaker 1:That is insane. There's no other way to describe that. That's not deadbeat mom talk, that's wholesome mom talk yes that's a hashtag. We're wholesome moms. We appreciate you amen to that.
Speaker 1:That's nuts so, like my, my experiences were just my mom. I've seen how she parents me. I've seen how she parents my brother. I've seen how she just handles all adversity like, of course, I, don course I have nothing else to talk about but my mother. But just talking about mothers in general, especially in today's world, gender roles have changed. They are here working, grinding, cooking, cleaning entrepreneurs, doctors, lawyers, nurses, surgeons, you name it. They are here killing it and then raising some children, which by any means is not easy at all. So to do that, either as a single mom, or you know you co-parenting, or you're in a healthy relationship and y'all doing it together. You need both. But boy, would you be absolutely lost. Us, us fellas, really, unless you have been around, women don't really know what it is to like nurture and care for a child. You have to learn that from someone else, because we just we're just gonna do whatever.
Speaker 2:You know, that's just what we do like as long as we keep them alive, you ain't gonna die, yeah whatever, whatever that's us.
Speaker 1:We're gonna teach you what real life is like all the time but, like mothers know how to care for you. That's just what they know. I don't know what else to say about that. Just where will we be without moms Lost?
Speaker 2:I feel that Severely lost. Another thing I would like to touch on about mothers is like how much the world as far as, like you know, the government wants single moms to not succeed. That's something that bothers me.
Speaker 1:The government does not want you about to strike some cores. Right, I'm about to just back out of this yeah, no this.
Speaker 2:This is just one of those things she's got some stuff she wanted to get off for sure earlier.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna just let her rock out it's like one of those.
Speaker 2:What was peter griffin saying? You know what really grinds my gears? It's just, that's one of those things that grind my shit like well, how about you?
Speaker 1:uh, you go into the specifics, because I feel like you got a very relevant example.
Speaker 2:So if you need government assistance, be it let's see food stamps or purchase of care hell, even Medicaid in some instances. You basically have to be unemployed, you need to have at least three kids. You gotta be single. The government wants you to be in the shittiest position possible to come up off some money to help you in any way.
Speaker 1:What'd they give you?
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh when.
Speaker 1:I went, please share.
Speaker 2:These raggedy bastards gave me $25 a month in food stamps. Those sons of bitches. They spat in my face. I went to get some help and they shat on me. What $25? Hold on. First of all, y'all go to the grocery store at least every other day. You're going to spend $25. As soon as you walk in, that bitch. As soon as you walk in, you grab two things and that's the $25 right there. Hey, especially today. Like, as soon as you walk in, you grab two things and that's the $25 right there. Hey, especially today, oh God forbid, you got a baby who drinks formula. Y'all know one of them cans is $50.
Speaker 1:It might be $60-something now at this point.
Speaker 2:God damn it. What would I do with that?
Speaker 1:Like what? All right. So this is what you have to do you have to run the food stamp card for the 25 and you got to pay the rest of the 30 with with your cash.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I gotta make up the difference. But what if I don't got that? Because let's again. I'm a single mom and, who knows, I don't got a job and I don't like I don't, I don't have all these things. I can't put my baby in daycare because I can't afford daycare, but the government won't help me pay for daycare either. So I'm just fucked in every way possible like this. This shit is just impossible to win.
Speaker 2:I feel like as a single mom in america, I could be wrong. Let's also look at maternity leave right. If you are working a job, they give you like six to eight weeks maternity leave before they either fire you or you know you have to come back term disability or you gotta go through some kind of what type of shit is that?
Speaker 1:I hope that that improves. And and some organizations they do give you 12. They give you 12 weeks. That's.
Speaker 2:That's because people have been expressing their concerns okay, that like 12 weeks is a little bit better, but even still realistic.
Speaker 1:That baby is still only like three months old you gotta figure out how to become, especially if you're a first-time parent. Oh how to navigate that space. And then also realize you gotta eventually get back to work and solidify child care and then trust someone else to watch what if you have no help?
Speaker 2:well, you don't got no family members around and you know we've heard heinous stories about daycares and shit, especially again if you're a first-time parent or any, like you know, a parent in general. Just it's not fair and other countries.
Speaker 2:It's not other countries give you like six months to a year before you have to come back to work. They at least make sure your baby got a little bit of teeth in their mouth and probably not not nursing no more before you got to come back to work. And that's another thing. God forbid. You are a nursing mother and have to go back to work.
Speaker 1:You gotta be at the work it's like yeah, you gotta pump while you're at work.
Speaker 2:you gotta leave whatever you're doing to go into a room and milk yourself, and then you gotta, you gotta keep all the milk stored and you but you better hope don't nobody pour your shit out or something crazy you gotta get that milk back home to your baby. It's not advantageous, like you said, I feel like they're just setting us up to fail.
Speaker 1:That's just America and the business of money. Money is the reason why this is such an inconvenience. It's all inconvenience. I didn't want to go into this, but I'm going to keep this real brief America is trash. That's all I'm going to say.
Speaker 2:I don't disagree.
Speaker 1:There are other countries who are in, I guess you would say, worse positions than us, but on a grand scheme of things, as far as family priorities are concerned, they are shitting on America.
Speaker 2:Yo, it's outrageous. How much does it cost to have a baby in america? To just have one?
Speaker 1:in this specific region it's roughly 23 to 27 000 per child, based on what you need, the complications, whether it's a c-section or natural birth, all of that. That that's insane. It is insane and God forbid you don't have health care. They're going to send you that fat check. Oh my God, Saying you owe us this amount. Yes, they will care for you. That doesn't mean it's free, though.
Speaker 2:Hell. No, you basically owe them your firstborn. You got to sign them over after you birth them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you got to sell an ovary or a gonad oh, and god forbid.
Speaker 2:You try to keep your placenta after you had that baby yeah, they'll.
Speaker 1:Uh, oh, you gotta fill out a form, you gotta go through a whole process. Be adamant about that. Don't get into your birthing preferences, because they really won't honor them if something goes wrong or if they're just not thinking about it at all as a priority, because they're trying to get their job done. You you're not the only one on the floor that's delivering a baby, so they oh, it's moving and grooving, and you spent your time putting together this birthing preference sheet and they're not trying to hear that shit.
Speaker 2:They're trying to get you in and get you out.
Speaker 1:You'll say something like no forceps and I don't know about y'all, but ain't no way I want my child being grabbed with some some pliers. I've heard crazy stories like now your baby head got a lump on it yeah, or they didn't yanked one of your baby's limbs off or something.
Speaker 2:Using these, are you trying like?
Speaker 1:make sure your baby gets the nutrition from the stem cells and all of that stuff so they don't get infections, and all that with the delayed cord clamping, and then they just they don't listen.
Speaker 2:Yeah, just disregard what you said anyways that's just.
Speaker 1:I could go on that for a while, and I'm not even a mom. So for the moms on here, we need y'all to let us know if we covered the bases, if we missed some stuff.
Speaker 2:I'm sure there's things I missed. Those are just things that I could go off on tangents about and that really grind my gears about being a mom in America.
Speaker 1:It's just, it's something that isn't talked about enough in most conversations because you know, I would say it comes from gender roles. You know gender roles from back in the day, where you know you were to stay in the kitchen, stay in the house, do the cleaning, do the laundry, do all that stuff and that was it. But that's also a lot. I don't know if anybody's ever lived by themselves before, but when you have to do all of that for yourself and then throw a child in that is a lot in general.
Speaker 1:But we talk about mamas who's paying your bills? You who's cooking. You who's putting the food away? You who's doing the dishes. You who's changing the diapers. You who's doing the medications? You who's taking them to school. You who's taking them to daycare? You it's a lot of where is my time for me? And in order for you to get that time, you unfortunately have no other option but to sacrifice your sleep, which we all know you need am I spitting?
Speaker 2:no, you, you spitting and god forbid you complain about it because people like your mom, you know, handle that. Let's talk about postpartum depression Just a little bit. We don't got to go deep into it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we can talk about it.
Speaker 2:I feel like it's not one of those things I won't say it's not talked about enough. I feel like it is talked about a lot but I don't know. It's still an issue that I feel like it's not getting the right. I don't know what it is.
Speaker 1:I don't think people understand it. That's what it is. Yeah, there's still too many unknown factors, although there are things you can read and watch. We got youtube. We got safari. We got whatever you you android users use. You got some kind of web browser you could research. I just don't think many people delve into it enough to go okay, this is a serious issue and it impacts different mothers in different ways. Some it doesn't impact at all. Some it will absolutely make you not want to be around your child. You just have no will to do anything. You might just forget who you are and go into deep depression. You might have rage, you might just lose yourself completely in this process of all these hormones and chemical imbalances and, just like the process, what it does to your body, your mind, your soul, your heart. And then add another person to the mix and you got to figure out how to do that while he's figuring out how to be a father or whatever I think a lot of people like downplay it a lot too.
Speaker 2:They know that it exists but they don't realize the gravity of it and most men I won't say all men, but most men look at it like man. Whatever, you're just a little sad, Get over it, take care of this baby. And little do they know that mom is fighting for her life Like she's this close from.
Speaker 1:like you know, they don't really do a good job of supporting, or just first off, yes, education. Two, understanding what education you just learned. And then three, what do you do after that?
Speaker 2:Applying it yeah.
Speaker 1:Like, how do you be there? What do you say? Maybe you don't say anything at all, maybe you just need to be around. Do you take it personal? Do you not take it personal? Just let it fly? Do you all of that? It's difficult. So one to be a single parent is incredibly difficult, but to I think it's just as difficult, if not more difficult, when you add another person's thought process and opinions and emotions involved in it and it can be super impactful. Yes, you have an extra set of hands, but what if you got an extra person and you have the expectation that they're gonna help and then they don't? Well then you know what I mean. So, like, sometimes being a single parent might be the best option, because when you're not looking for who's gonna pick up, you said you was gonna pick him up and do well, it's just you, yeah at least you know, you're the one.
Speaker 1:You are the one I get that.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:There might be expectations better sanity and knowing that, I'm it. But if you got to depend on somebody else and they fall short, now you beefing with them and now you got to worry about how. How are we communicating about this in front of our child? Do we wait till you know what I?
Speaker 2:mean I can see how that could add more stress, like I could I could see it does if it's unhealthy, you know but then also at the same time you know if you're doing it by yourself the the stress of like, oh my god, like I need some help. I just need, I just need a damn minute. I just need a minute to tonight here crying or mommy, or something like that's.
Speaker 1:I don't know like I can understand both, both sides of that in order to be a parent, bro, and my personal opinion, you gotta be a gangster oh yeah, it's not for the week gotta definitely not for the week there's been plenty of dumps I've taken while a baby is just looking at me. You just get real comfortable with just sharing your space with somebody.
Speaker 1:Bro, you got fingers under the door once they hit the Tyler statement before that You're like I can't really do much without this person being here, this little midget drunk baby Excuse me, little person. For the folks that get offended by that, there's just going to always be eyeballs looking at you and somebody asking for something, without even having the words to ask for something, yet they just want it.
Speaker 2:Oh, no matter how tired you are, you got to deal with that. I'm hungry, mommy, I'm hungry, daddy, I'm hungry like you.
Speaker 1:Gotta deal with that yeah, but moms, I think moms get it the worst, like just it doesn't matter if you have a boy or girl. Every child is like velcro on their mom's hip from day one, and I get it that's for the first couple years.
Speaker 1:They were with you in in utero for a long time. So that's your, their safety. This is what I know. I know your heartbeat, I know your smell, I know what you look like, that like you are it. Yeah, and, and we'll talk about the other side of that. On the father's day episode yeah, this is about the moms, bro. They get.
Speaker 2:They get fried, sizzled over, stimulated over, like you know, touched out sometimes. Sometimes, and I feel like I don't I don't know if I speak for all mothers but sometimes you get to a point when you're like hanging with your kid where you just don't want them to touch you no more, like no, I don't want no hug. Get off me, like get off me, get away from me just for like a minute, for a couple minutes. Please, just don't touch me what do you?
Speaker 1:what do you think about the community and in motherhood? Do you think there's a strong community? Do you think it needs more? Uh, time, light, space, what have you?
Speaker 2:I feel like I wasn't around like back in the days and you know the parts that I was around, for I didn't really know what was going on. But I feel like the community that we have right now isn't the same as what I used to hear about. Like a lot of people don't have the option to send their kids to like grandma's house for like for the summer or for a couple weeks, you know, or or you don't have um, like somebody that you trust down the street that you can send your kid over to their house. Like I feel like a lot of that doesn't exist nowadays and I feel like a lot of grandparents nowadays and aunties and all that they're living their best lives and they don't want to be tied down. A lot of them have the mindset of you know know I raised my children, yeah.
Speaker 2:I don't raise my kids. It's time for you to raise yours.
Speaker 1:So what about peers, though? Like when you, when you had your child first, did you feel like you had other mothers that you could hang out with around your age group that just could you could talk to about what you were dealing with?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:A lot of that, or was it very scarce?
Speaker 2:of that, or was it, you know, very scarce.
Speaker 2:Um, I feel like you know, once you get out of your little bubble, because once you, once you have a baby, a lot of women tend to go into the newborn bubble like you don't really wash your hands, don't come over here yeah, not even just that like because you're still like adjusting to being a mom and taking care of this baby, like it's just it's easier to stay to yourself versus, you know, going out making friends or hanging out with friends that you already have. Sometimes you got to get your routine down before you can add on to that. But I will say it is easier to connect with peers who are in the same position as you versus trying to find family to help with your community. Your community will probably be mostly friends. Yeah, not so much family.
Speaker 1:Would you say that it's? It's a good spot. Once you get out, once you get out of that, I'm gonna figure this out on my own. You know, build your routine and now you can go out and like, conquer the world and go be social and all that. Yeah. Do you feel like there's a lot of support in the new mom world? Yeah, do you feel like it's a lot of support in the new mom world? Yeah, do you feel like it could be better?
Speaker 2:I feel like most new moms, most moms period, are usually pretty supportive of other moms. Like the mom community. We're very much like you know, you got a girl, oh, you just had a baby. Bless your heart. Or like it's because we can empathize with each other in a certain way. I feel like most moms are pretty supportive of each other, but it's usually from like you know, another friend or even a stranger. Those are the most supportive moms. Does that make sense?
Speaker 1:Yeah, that makes sense. I got one thing to say to the sons and daughters out there Shoot your mom some bail, bruh, especially depending on what decade she was born in, bro, they only know what they know. So, whatever that means to you, you package that up and you sit with that, but just realize the education that they received is a lot different than what we have. They didn't have all of the data and the readily accessible information at their fingertips like we did. They had to actually go to the library and check out a book and read something, to learn whatever, and even that's antiquated and outdated. But y'all got the whole world in your hand currently.
Speaker 1:So, yes, you may have more information and they may be a little bit hesitant on that information, just because this world is new and not everybody is adaptable to where the world is going. And just give them, give them some some bail, give them some grace, give them some credit and at the same time they just trying to look out for you, dog. They ain't really trying to. I can't speak for everybody's mom, but I know my mom is definitely not. She's not one to try and control what I do. She's more concerned about, like, my safety as most moms will be.
Speaker 2:That's one thing. Like you know, as we get older, we want our moms to stop trying to parent us so much. But also, as me, being a mom, like that's all I know how to how to be to my child, like I only know how to be your mother. So, just like our moms only know how to be our moms to us, they never gonna stop trying to parent us because they think they're, they think they're helping and I know at the end of the day, they have our.
Speaker 1:For the most part, they have our best interest at heart yeah, we can't speak for all of you, yeah I'm gonna say, going to say, for the most part, Luckily and fortunately for me and Sweets over here we have great, wholesome moms that you know. They have their shortcomings and their missteps, but it ain't anything that is going to jeopardize our safety or our health or nothing like that. They're doing what they can with what they have and, hey look, we made it this far. So I mean I'd say bravo, yeah, shout out to the great job to all the moms out there, even if you knew you are doing what is best. This is another thing I wanted to say for all you moms out there.
Speaker 1:This is some unsolicited advice. Yes, from a man. You, as a mom, need to not listen to anybody's advice about what to do with your child. I will say that one more time. The advice is welcomed if you ask, but if it is unsolicited and from somebody who is not a trusted source, that needs to go in one ear and out the other, because every child is different. Your relationship with your child is your business and that is it. Do what Sweets does. Let them get it off. Apply what's you know suitable. The rest, throw that shit in the garbage. Your child is your child and your decisions about your child is your business that's it.
Speaker 2:Amen to that. That's all I'm gonna say. A verse look at, you've been dropping some gems on this episode.
Speaker 1:I liked it hey, man, I feel like I've been doing a lot of rapping for the moms on here but like you've been dropping, just no I see and support y'all and as much as you may not think, men, see what y'all do, we do, we may not articulate it very well but hey, I'm here to break the mold a little bit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I got a great mom. I've had great mother figures. Shout out to them as well. You know, y'all are also considered mothers, even if you don't have children of your own. But if you have mothered someone, you are just as much appreciated as someone who has their own child. You know, not knowing what your situation is, maybe you can't have children but, if you've been pouring your heart out and into the youth, which is 100 objective here, like that's the next generation to come.
Speaker 1:Thank you yes we appreciate you all indeed, we do the very little bit that I know about women came from all the other women that I was exposed to, whether that be big sis, big cuz, you know, aunts, uncles, all that, the ones that know a little bit of something, but mainly, mainly the women. Dog, how about that? I'll be holding it down. It might be a little bit emotional sometimes but that's cool, we get that. We ain't taking that too personal and we just know y'all nurturers and carers and y'all care about the safety of the ones that you birth or pour into and we appreciate it because you know us men, we reckless, we're gonna find some danger, some kind of way, because we like to have fun.
Speaker 1:And, boy, without y'all we would be six feet, six feet under Probably, and very, very soon we would be very short lived humans.
Speaker 2:Have you seen? There's a commercial about that where I think they said well, what happened if all the women disappeared in the world? And it was men doing a whole bunch of reckless shit, Of course.
Speaker 1:There's no one to be like yo. We home Stuff was on fire.
Speaker 2:Like I got to find it for you.
Speaker 1:It would be pandemonium. I think that's accurate, bro. We don't really. We like to blow stuff up.
Speaker 2:It was planes crashing and shit. It was just everything, yeah bro, I 100% agree.
Speaker 1:There's some kind of normalcy and order with women around, so that's good.
Speaker 2:We keep y'all's feet on the ground A lot. Yeah, we keep y'all's feet on the ground.
Speaker 1:If it's up to us, bro, we going to max the speedometer out. You know what I mean, but you got somebody on the side like yo. Please don't do that. We need you for this. You know, we appreciate you. We don't want to see you. I don't want to see you gone. You know what I mean. They just little reminders, and sometimes that voice does permeate the brain and you go all right, maybe I won't push it to 140 on the highway today. That's good, I'm gonna do 100, maybe not 140. You know what I mean. I don't know.
Speaker 2:I think it helps good to know, because I find most times y'all just hard-headed and don't be listening I could say the the same, but we're going to let y'all get that on. Oh yeah, I know how you feel about us.
Speaker 1:I'll save that for.
Speaker 2:How you really feel. Another one, but for the sake of this episode, yeah.
Speaker 1:And yeah, before we wrap this joint up, I think we did good. This is good. Happy birthday, mom Dukes. Bro, we appreciate you. We about to come in there and sing to you and get you right and then that's it. For the rest of the moms out there, do what you already know is best just care for your kids. Do the best you can give yourself some grace. I know you can't get rid of the mom guilt. It's gonna be there. But handle it and chill on that all right, like you're doing whatever you can to make things work. And for the folks that don't have their mamas, bro, our hearts go out to y'all. I couldn't imagine not having mom dukes, bro. We call it mom dukes, we call it dukes for short. I don't know what you call your mom and them, but boy will we be sadly lost without um for sure, I can't even I can't picture life without it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we ain't trying to end on a on a bad note um well I didn't want.
Speaker 2:I had a quick look, it's not a takeaway, but I didn't want to give a quick birth, a happy, heavenly birthday. Shout out to my big bro you know, it's also his birthday today, for sure, you know. Shout out to my, to my old fat man. But yeah, that was all I wanted to throw out there of course, man, I I would support that.
Speaker 1:I approve this message. I would have loved to meet you and I know, in due time, you know, when this, this whole rodeo of a life we live, is over, I'll bust it up with you one day you know yes yeah, I think what you think, how you feeling I think that's, I think that's pretty good yeah, that's pretty good. Just remember, bro, cherish the time you got with the ones you love, and specifically with your mama.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm, because you only get one.
Speaker 1:You only get one. You only get one. Yeah, it don't matter if you're an orphan or not. Whatever, bro, you got one mama. That's how you got here. That's a fact. So don't forget that. And for the folks that, this is the last thing I'm going to say, for the folks that have their mamas and you know somebody that doesn't have theirs Definitely reach out and lend some kind of support, send light and love. Boy, would I be in shambles if I knew that I didn't have my mama to just call.
Speaker 2:Amen to that. So, yeah, I'm sending y'all light and love from my heart space yeah, and we would love to hear from y'all in the comments.
Speaker 1:Uh, share the pod. If it spoke to you, let us know. Are we on linkedin? We on instagram? We didn't make a facebook page yet. Maybe we should that's next.
Speaker 1:I'm sure this is a, this is a real realization, but we're gonna be out there. Let us know what y'all thought in the comments. Hit us up in the email. Y'all got all the info. And if you want to know what the podcast website look like, I'm gonna say it one last time. It is wwwfatandsweetsbuzzsproutcom. Come check us out. Come check us out. You know y'all rock with it. It's all good. You want?
Speaker 2:you want to say the phrase you always say it well, love you, but get out of here, you stinking idiots y'all smell crazy.
Speaker 1:Bye, bye now bye.
